GOLMAAL Returns.

Rating; 3/5

There is a sequence in Rohit Shetty's Golmaal Returns where Ajay Devgan launches into a self-righteous diatribe against wife Kareena Kapoor In doing so, he invokes one of Hindi farce's most hackneyed gags -- one where he uses film titles to construct sentences. It is a bit we've seen a million times before, but the difference here is that Devgan sticks exclusively to movies starring himself, going from Dilwale to Diljale to Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. As he winds on, an ever helpful Shreyas Talpade prompts him with a few more: 'Cash, Raju Chacha, Ramu Ki Aag,' he says, only for Devgan to snarl, asking him to leave the salt out of the wounds.

It is refreshing, this long-overdue ability shown by our stars to mock themselves. Instead of shying away from three of his biggest clunkers -- one of which he produced himself -- Devgan is instead taking the punch front and centre, and knowing that the joke is on him makes it that much funnier. There is much of this tomfoolery in the decidedly scriptless Golmaal Returns, with jokes made at everyone's expense: from Kareena's boyfriend's tattoo (the same jibe in two films released within four days of each other, really to Tusshar Kapoor's sister's serials.
Also impressive is the fact that the film, clearly not taking itself seriously, works in constant mock-movie mode. Every few scenes, one or more of the characters steps out of, well, character and break the fourth wall to make a reference to the first film, a possible Golmaal 3, or -- like in the aforementioned Devgan scene -- to each other as actors, not their fictional personas. It is a manner of loopy filmmaking in the key of Steven Soderbergh's delightfully self-referential (and completely plotless) Ocean's Twelve, and so there is definite potential to shine.
Except, these moments of zing, while pretty darned good -- sometimes even quotable -- are too few and far between. The film is longdrawn, weighed down by several scenes that just aren't funny besides trying too hard. The basic problem for Golmaal Returns is that -- and here I urge you to scroll back to the first paragraph, to reemphasise the point -- by the time the really awesome laughs come around, you're already tired by the been-there-seen-that banality of it all.
It's a shame, because Shetty clearly is an intelligent guy. There is concept behind his caricaturing and some quite innovative -- and even alarmingly wicked -- broadsiding, but he settles for dumbing this film down into something painfully puerile, diluting the best of his gags by setting them among a pile of Priyadarshanesque pap. Sigh.

Tusshar Kapoor leads the pack in terms of performances, his mute act only having gotten better with time. Often the only reason for a lot of scenes being watchable, Tusshar shows off extreme mime skills in a scene where he chastises Kareena and Amrita for wailing before hearing him out.
The only other good acting job in the film comes unsurprisingly from Kareena, the heroine frequently shooting her Jab We glare while hilariously playing a soap-obsessed housewife -- and all this while looking like a million bucks.
Shreyas Talpade is all over the place, while Ajay Devgan and Arshad Warsi are essentially faffing through the proceedings -- which isn't necessarily a bad thing in a movie of this nature, but some restraint would have truly helped the overall picture. Significant restraint would also be required of the director for the appalling insensitivity on display with the mute jokes -- the Tusshar track is all about how he refuses to tell a girl who makes eyes at him that he's a mute, for fear that she rejects him, a horrid idea the other two guys only encourage -- and it's okay to laugh at a character being dumb, but plain sick to do it just because he can't speak.
Another word to the wisecracker, Rohit: enough with the Sanjay Leela Bhansali digs. Clearly you aren't enamoured with the director, but the only reason we laughed our heads off with all the Black references in Golmaal was because some people actually liked that film; heck, some utterly worshipped it. This time, when you harp on and on about Saawariya ,the jokes fall truly and utterly flat -- because a good spoof always takes on something significant, iconic, memorable. Not a movie nobody wants to remember.
The last five minutes of Golmaal Returns are the funniest I've seen in a movie theatre in a very long time. If only the film preceding it was even half as good.

Reference: rediff, Gupshup

Drona

Movie: Drona;
Star Cast: Abhishek Bachchan, Priyanka Chopra, Kay Kay Menon and Jaya Bachchan;
Director: Goldie Behl;
Rating 2.5/5

Director Goldie Bhel may be one of the best friends of Abhishek but his friendship is not doing any good for Jr. Bachchan as far as professional relationship is concerned. First he made a flop film like Bus Itna Sa Khwab Hai with Abhishek and to worsen things more now he has come up with a dud flick like Drona.
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As every other superhero flick, Drona's story too deals with the fight between the good and the evil where Abhishek plays the super hero Drona, a savior of the world, and Kay Kay is seen portraying the character of the evil who wants to kill Drona in order to have his control over the whole world. In this otherwise boring flick, Priyanka Chopra's sensuality brings some relief. She plays the body guard to Drona.
There's nothing to talk about the direction as even an amateur director would have done a much much better job than what Goldie has done. I think he needs to assist some good director before trying his hands on any other project. God knows, what in the world inspired him to make a high budgeted movie like Drona.
The script also hasn't supported the poorly directed flick and even the characters are poorly sketched. Kay Kay's character is more clownish than devilish. Same goes with the main character of Drona. His strengths and power are not dealt with in detail which is so very important for a superhero flick.
Coming to the songs, which have no significance in the movie, are unbearable.
The only thing that stands out in Drona is the brilliant special effects, which are way ahead of Bollywood standards.
Performance wise too non of the actors have delivered in compared to their caliber. It can be rated as one of the worst flick Kay Kay has ever done. With his tummy, Mr. Abhishek doesn't at all fit into the costume of a superhero. Again it's only Priyanka who stands out of them all and that too only due to her sensuality and glamorous look. Jaya Bachchan has a very small role.
Overall, Drona could easily be placed a notch or two below some of the worst movies I have ever seen. I would never advice anyone to waste one's hard earned money to see this senseless film.

the mistress of spices review

Rating 2/5

THE MISTRESS OF SPICES looks at the conflicts faced by Tilo [Aishwarya Rai], a beautiful young woman trained in the ancient and magical art of spices. Ordained with special powers to help those that come to her, Tilo can sense people's problems with a startling ability to see into their past and future.Tilo works in a small San Francisco store called 'Spice Bazaar', where, with the guidance of her spices, she finds the perfect remedy for anyone who walks through her door. For her powers to work, she must obey three simple, but strict rules: She must use the spices only to help others, she must not touch another human's skin and she must never leave her store. When Doug [Dylan McDermott], an architect, crashes his Harley Davison outside her San Francisco store, she has to tend to his wounds and her life is changed forever. For the first time, Tilo's own desires are stirred -- is there more to life than helping others? Tilo knows the rules and her spices warn her to stay away. But Doug doesn't have any spices telling him what to do and soon returns to ask her on a date.No matter how hard she resists him, his persistence, honesty and friendship draws them closer to each other. When they accidentally touch, another rule is broken and the spices are enraged. The spices are in no mood for either leniency or romance, but Tilo is captivated by the force of love and agrees to go on a date leaving her spices behind. The spices begin to punish her -- the more she falls in love and defies the rules, the more her customers suffer.All Tilo wants to do is carry on her work and fall in love as well, but she is forced into a painful dilemma. If she turns her back on her way of life, all the people that she has helped will suffer, but if she doesn't, she will lose Doug forever.Paul Mayeda Berges had a fascinating story on hand and even the screen adaptation of the novel has its high points, but it's the powerless execution of the subject material that makes the film sink faster than Titanic. There's not one sequence in the film that you actually cherish, primarily because the narrative is handled in the most slapdash manner.Tilo's relationships with her clientele consume most of the time. And that tends to make the proceedings monotonous. Tilo's relationship with Doug and the 'anger' of spices at the growing friendship could've been depicted far more interestingly, but the impression you get after having watched the film is that the director was more keen to tell the qualities of the spices rather than a sound story. That's precisely why the film makes a zilch impact! Santosh Sivan's cinematography and the art design are up to the mark. Only thing, the director hasn't done justice to the beauty of San Francisco. There was scope to show several breath-taking locations of the city when Doug and Tilo spend an entire day together. The instrumental version of a yesteryear hit works beautifully in the romantic scene.Aishwarya looks ethereal and impresses in parts, not in entirety. Dylan is strictly okay. Again, the director hasn't tapped his potential to the fullest. Anupam Kher goes over the top. Nitin Ganatra pitches in a decent performance. Ayesha Dharker is wasted. Ditto for Zohra Segal and Padma Lakshmi.On the whole, THE MISTRESS OF SPICES is a spiceless, bland fare with nothing to excite the moviegoer. At the box-office, this one's a disaster!

Ramchand Pakistani

Director: Mehreen Jabbar

Cast: Syed

Fazal Hussain, Navaid Jabbar, Rashid Farooqui, Maria Wasti, Nandita Das

Rating: 4/5

After witnessing the victimized Muslim in a slew of Indian films this year, here comes a Pakistani film about a victimized Hindu. But much against exploitation of religious sentiments, this one doesn't manipulate cast and creed concerns but broadly illustrates injustice and oppression to the humankind in general. 7-year-old Ramchand (Syed Fazal Hussain) belongs to a Dalit Hindu family residing in Pakistan at a village situated on the Indian border. One day the boy and his father Shankar (Rashid Farooqui) accidentally cross the border and enter India where they are arrested by the border security on pretext of spying. The two are transferred to a jail in Gujarat where they spend five long years for no fault of theirs. Meanwhile Ramchand's mother Champa (Nandita Das) keeps longing for the return of her husband and son. With a premise as basic as this, the straightforward storytelling by director Mehreen Jabbar focuses predominantly on human bonding and the emotional evolution of the child character. The film very sharply shows how two innocent people pall prey to the political hostility between two neighbouring countries on the verge of war and become hostages on charges they are not even remotely aware of. Their helplessness to the circumstances and the resulting frustration is persuasively portrayed. The film maintains a politically correct stance by not taking sides of either country (India or Pakistan), religion (Hindu or Muslim) or creed (untouchables or upper class) and has a very secular outlook. Also the narrative intentionally steers away from justifying the rights and wrongs of the legal system and has a peripheral approach to the imprisonment of the protagonists, thereby showing them as fall guys of fate. The screenplay significantly concentrates on the progression of Ramchand in prison and his association with his father and elder inmates. But the most tender relationship he shares is with his female warden Kamla (Maria Wasti) who detests him for being a lower class untouchable but at the same time also grooms him, being his only female caretaker in the jail. In a parallel plot, Champa's struggle for solitary survival and her subsequent attraction towards a village merchant is sensitively depicted. The basic human hope for the quest of freedom that the film highlights, reminds of Hollywood classic The Shawshank Redemption which had a similar prison setting. With the separation of the family across the border, one can also draw references to Gadar though in terms of conduct the films are poles apart with this one being toned down by zilch heroism. Of the touching treatment, watch out for the scene where the child vents his angst on his pet bug or the scene where the father holds on to his son for a cycle ride. Another scene where the kid guards his female warden's room or watches video cassettes of Chaalbaaz and Chandni with her are captured on a lighter note. However, the Nandita Das track drags at instances and could have been shorter. The title character is played by two child artists who pose for the two ages of Ramchand Pakistani. Syed Fazal Hussain excels as the younger Ramchand through his innocent-filled expressions while Navaid Jabbar is equally competent as his elder avatar. Rashid Farooqui brings conviction to his character of a vulnerable father and a frustrated victim of circumstances. Nandita Das is fine in her role but has played several of such countryside characters before. Maria Wasti as Ramchand's custodian is both compelling and charming in her act. Ramchand Pakistani captures the connotations of two religions in its title while its appeal is unbound by the confines of any creed or country.

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Kidnap

Sonia (Minissha Lamba) lives with her mother, Mallika (Vidya Malvade) and grandmother (Reema Lagoo) because her parents had divorced when she was ten. A fortnight before her eighteenth birthday, she picks an argument with her mother about her coming home late after the Christmas Party. Her mother tells her to stay within limits and arrive home in time. She is reluctant to abide by the rule and after much negotiation demands that she would listen to everything if she gets to meet her father. Then she leaves home & goes swimming in the sea to vent out. Far into the sea, she vanishes underwater... (is she dead?)NO. She wakes up in the evening in a cottage which has no exit. At first she doesn't believe that she has been kidnapped and thinks that her friends are playing a prank on her. The abductor Kabir (Imran Khan) tells her how she came there. When she went swimming in the open sea, he pulled her below the water surface and knocked her unconscious using a bottled chloroform.On the other hand, everyone is worried at her home. Next morning, her mother receives a call from Kabir, who demands to speak to Vikrant Raina (Sanjay Dutt), a US-based Indian business tycoon, with whom he has an old score to settle.Kabir demands that Vikrant (and Vikrant alone) play a "game". The game involves Kabir giving a task to Vikrant and upon completion of the task, Vikrant will get a clue that will take him one step close to his daughter.Directed by Sanjay Gadhvi Produced by Shree Ashtavinayak Cine Vision Pvt. Ltd. Written by Shibani Bathija Starring Sanjay Dutt,Imran Khan,Minissha Lamba,Vidya Malvade

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Hello

Director: Atul Agnihotri
Writer: Atul Agnihotri
Release Date: 10 October 2008
Genre: DramaRuntime: 129 minutes

Cast: Amrita Arora as RadhikaSharman Joshi as ShyamKatrina Kaif as Mysterious WomanSalman KhanSohail Khan as VroomIsha Koppikar as EshaAnupam Maanav as Tv reporterSuresh Menon as Systems GuyRishi Nijhawan as GaneshGul Kirat Panag as PriyankaSharat Saxena as Military UncleDalip Tahil as Bakshi
Plot Summary:Hello... is a tale about the events that happen one night at a call center. Told through the views of the protagonist, Shyam, it is a story of almost lost love, thwarted ambitions, absence of family affection, pressures of a patriarchal set up, and the work environment of a globalized office. Shyam is losing his girl friend because his career is going nowhere as he trudges his way around in a call center. His girl friend, Priyanka, is also an agent like him at the call center who is about to be snatched by an NRI technogeek. There is also the aspiring model, Esha, who is hoping for the break that seems to be always already eluding her and the man about town, Vroom, who is into well, things. The housewife, Radhika, who is constantly at the receiving end of her mother-in-law and a beleaguered grandfather, Military Uncle, who has been barred from interacting with his grandchild make up the rest of the call agents who see their worlds crumbling around them as the decisions of right sizing are conveyed by Bakshi, the boss. It is a night when dreams will finally crumble. Or will it? For there is that call from God. Narrated as a tale within a tale as a beautiful woman meets the auteur narrator and promises him a story on the condition that he has to narrate it further, Hello, based on Chetan Bhagat's one night @ the call center, is the one remarkable story from Tales from a Thousand and One globalizing, urban, Indian Nights.
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